The death of any loved one can have devastating effects on a community, and the loss of many individuals at once can destroy it. Individuals in leadership positions, whether pastors, elders, teachers, employers, or coaches, face the added responsibility of setting the emotional tone in the workplace, church, or school environment. Regardless of the type of tragedy, avoiding the topic out of fear of creating additional pain is unhelpful.
Supporting Those HANDLING Loss
As Church Leaders
Pastors and church leaders are often primary resources when a church member dies. In addition to providing spiritual guidance, church leaders may also take on the role of helping the family by: arranging food delivery, assisting with funeral arrangements, and providing emotional support. Pastors and church leaders may also provide assistance in making referrals to individual or family counselors, support groups, or other aid agencies with which they are familiar.As Employers
In the workplace setting, CEOs, directors, and managers may face one of two scenarios: an employee who is coping with grief or the death of an employee.If an employee is facing a personal loss, work supervisors can check in with the bereaved person privately. They can collaborate with Human Resources to ensure the person receives a flexible schedule, Employee Assistance Program (EAP) referrals and financial counseling, if necessary. These resources can be beneficial during the grieving process and help the individual return to work as a productive team member.
The death of an employee or a work-related death is particularly traumatic for a team, especially if colleagues are witnesses to the event or were close friends of the deceased. In such a situation, providing grief counseling services and/or time off from work will be especially beneficial for impacted employees. Depending on the size of the workplace, it may be appropriate for the employee’s department to hold a memorial service to mourn collectively and celebrate their colleague’s life.
As Teachers
For educators and staff in educational institutions, it is most significant to remember that children rarely understand their emotions and need help processing what has happened. Grief in children can manifest as anger, silence, emotional outbursts, poor academic performance, and emotionally withdrawing from friends.Grief counseling should be made available through the school counselor, if one is available. If a school counselor is not available, listening and validating the child’s emotions, can go a long way in helping the child process their grief.
As Friends and Family
For those individuals who are supporting someone dealing with the death of a loved one, words of love and hope are essential both in the days and weeks immediately following their loss, as well as months later. Often the bereaved have a lot of support immediately following the loss and then are left on their own.Friends and family can help by recounting fond memories or funny stories about the deceased with loved ones in the months after the tragedy. Check in with the bereaved on the one month, six months, and one-year anniversary of the loss, as well as special dates, such as birthdays, holidays and wedding anniversaries.
It is important to know grieving does not always follow a set timeline or list of stages. Pain, loss, and heartache are messy emotions that seep into every aspect of our lives. They are not respecters of work schedules, family responsibilities, or vacation plans.
Utilizing outside help does not mean we lack faith or doubt God’s love for us. God designed us to be part of a community (Ephesians 4:16). Coming together to support each other in our times of need will not only strengthen and build our faith, it will also remind us that pain is only for a little while, and we do not face the burdens of this world alone.
Read Part One, Finding Healing Following Loss
