Women are often vulnerable to an increased risk of abuse—including physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Ministries are in a strategic role to help victim-survivors. We spoke to Erica Smith, assistant director of Women’s Ministries for the North American Division and a licensed counselor. She explained some of the greatest obstacles facing victim-survivors and how ministries can be at the forefront of protecting the vulnerable.
Konstantin: Your work in Women’s Ministries and enditnow® places you in a strategic position to help break the cycle of abuse affecting women? What led you to prioritize this work?
Erica: I never planned to work in abuse prevention and response, but God continued to place me in positions—at women’s ministries retreats, at conferences, and certainly in my education—that allowed me to hear real stories of the women who lived and continue to live through incredibly traumatic experiences. Once you hear how someone has suffered, not only physically and emotionally, but also spiritually, it becomes impossible not to want to do something about it.One of the aspects that helped things really click for me is how many times I heard the following story from victim-survivors: Many described going to a church member first. Over and over, these women were saying they went to church and the response they got was generally, “I find that hard to believe.” Once you understand the dynamics of domestic violence, you understand how imperative it is not only to understand someone’s story, but also to believe them.
That’s where we must start: believing women who say, “This happened to me” or “This has happened.” So that’s why it became incredibly important, being in this role with women’s ministries, to say we must do better in understanding the dynamics of this issue and where we can help.
Konstantin: Your work shows ministry leaders are in a strategic position to protect women and connect them with resources. However, we are seeing that some ministry leaders unintentionally do further harm.
Erica: Part of that comes from a common instinctual reaction in a church community. If someone tells you about an abusive situation, most of the time, you know the person they are talking about. A woman goes to the pastor and says, “John is doing this to me at home.” Well, the pastor knows John. Most likely John has done a very good job of grooming that church community to adore him. He’s a very charismatic person; he’s a very involved person. By the time Jane comes and says this is how he is at home, the instinctual reaction is, “I just can’t believe he would act that way.” That’s extremely harmful to the victim. Most of the time the abuser is very likable. As a church community, it is imperative we know how to help her and not hurt her.I believe the most impactful thing I can do as therapist or as a Christian is to listen without judgment, to recognize it is not easy to leave an abusive relationship, that it takes time, and to always have resources ready. As an organization, that is how we are going to break the cycle of abuse: by recognizing the signs and understanding the dynamics, knowing how to effectively and appropriately respond to it (whether that means listening or, if it involves a child, reporting it). The other thing we can do is refer: All of us should have resources at the ready in our communities and point people in the right direction.
Konstantin: What can ministries do to protect women from these vulnerabilities, and what gives you hope?
Erica: It's bringing awareness to the fact that, number one, statistics don’t lie. Eighty-five percent of victims of domestic violence are women, and there was research several years ago that showed we in the Adventist Church are on par with statistics with the rest of society. So, we are not immune in any way.Part of what we can do to protect women—or anyone affected—is to get away from the mindset that this is a women’s issue or a feminist issue. This is a human issue, a systematic issue in our society and in our church. And we do great harm when we say this doesn’t happen or this isn’t our responsibility. We know it happens here. And as a church, as followers of Jesus, it is absolutely our problem.
It is our job to protect all vulnerable populations, and that must include men and women. It includes both people who are in positions of power and lay people. All of us coming together and saying, “This stops here.” It starts with having a zero-tolerance policy. People are generally uncomfortable with the darkness, but you can’t fight darkness without bringing it out into light. As enditnow® has grown over the years, I have had so many people tell me how thankful they are that we are bringing this into the light. As I travel, I have people say, “I had no idea. But now that I do, I must do something.” That’s what gives me hope.
